
They tell me Dad has congestive heart failure.

When I was a teenager i wrote a song about him, and his narcissism. it was a somewhat witty song, trying to express my disappointment and cover it up at the same time. Yeah, I tried to play it cool.
Over the years I braved it up and told him about the things in our past that hurt me. I always let him know I loved him, but tried to say what i needed to say to. Never easy, is it?
The heart is a funny thing.
It feels something and then we do all we can to ignore it, quiet it,or sometimes if we are very brave to listen to it.
I'm sad for my father. To see him shudder from some invisible chill, to see the confusion cloud his eyes. I'm sad.
As i left the hospital room today I kissed him on his forehead and held him for a long moment.
'I love you' he said, looking up at me.
'Know that.'
'Know that.'

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