OUT

She watches as the pictures dance in her head
Of all the days and faces and simpler times.

She closes her eyes thinking about
the curse of this freedom
and how unrelenting it is,
Just like being locked up

And the smile on the lips of the people in the street
annoys somebody to distraction.
They ease out of their situation
and reach for a stick or somebody elses purse.

And some small child is eating
something she found on the street
Rachel
Her mouth is full
And her head is spinning
And mommy’s upstairs again
shooting relief into her veins

Though she can’t remember when the last time it felt good was
But it doesn’t matter anyway
As the thought slips from her head
And the jammer slips from her hand
And the sweat slowly winds down her face
And she barely remembers her life today

And little Rachel is in the street long past forgot

There’s a buzzing in her fingertips
But she doesn’t mind
It’s her mind she’s trying to avoid today
But there’s a nagging sound or word or thought
That’s ripping at her gut
So she kicks it out with a final hit
And that feels better
At least she wishes that felt better
It really doesn’t feel like much at all anymore
But that doesn’t matter because she can almost remember
When it felt so good and good god
Where is Rachel little Rachel

In the street
Taking candy from strangers

If only she could sleep.